Distance: 17,5 km
Speed: 5,5 kmph
Soundtrack: Did You Give the World some Love Today Baby by Doris
I AM DONE! There’ll no doubt be many afterthoughts in the next days or weeks that I hope to share with you, but I’d like to at least give a quick summation and my first thoughts to wrap up the “on the road” part of the project.
Today my plan was to meet J at Berlin Hauptbahnhof, and there were some mixed messages about his arrival time due to train confusion, which led me to have a long and leisurely lunch at a café – eating lunch indoors, what a luxury! – and then basically running the last 3 km because he’d already arrived and I was so excited I tried to magic the traffic lights green (with mixed success…).
It was a rainy and stormy day but cleared up after the first few hours, and I found myself just walking around with a big smile on my face.
When I arrived at the hauptbahnhof, after the initial long hugs and PDAs the heady, giddy laughter bubbled up in me again and I walked around in kind of a dazed state, laughing maniacally. Trying to take in the enormity of what I had just done (again with mixed success), and trying to take in the enormity of Berlin and all the people. Guys, Berlin is huge.
And now, here I am, freshly bathed (though sadly not as nicely dressed as I would like as J didn’t manage to bring most of my normal people clothes – though I am wearing jeans for the first time in a month or so, and it feels pretty good) and in a beautiful hotel room (with a tub!) that I only have to leave in order to get food. Tomorrow I don’t have to walk anywhere unless I want to. Nor the day after, nor the day after.. I don’t have pack up all my belongings and try to remember where I’ve been and where I’m going. It’s been a wild ride and a crazy adventure, and I’m still sort of landing…
Some initial thoughts though, about my body. It is truly amazing. I mean I’ve proclaimed to be body positive for a good while, heck I even built a business on it – and I stand by that – but this experience has definitely taken that to another level for me. Like, I know myself so much better and so much more intimately than before. I know, I love, I respect every freaking millimetre. I really don’t think I could ever feel disappointed by my body again. So here’s to you, my incredible, soft, strong, tough, flexible body, for carrying me through all this. I love you.
Also, I am not a small woman. I have at times in my life been skinny (though that was sometimes also due to ED). I am fairly strong and fit, because I enjoy moving my body and testing its limits, but I have by no means always been this way. And I just want to say that you should never let anyone tell you you cannot do something because of the weight or the shape of your body. Or because of your gender, or any other seemingly limiting quality. Because if I can do this you sure as hell can go after those goals and dreams of yours, in your current, wonderful body, that doesn’t need to shrink or grow or become fitter or better – it just needs your love and respect. And it has earned it.
Don’t let your dreams be dreams. And don’t ever let anyone body shame you – least of all yourself.
And now it’s time for tapas. Peace out!